My advice / wisdom??

1) Figure out who you CAN talk about it with - When I'm flaring, I can't deal with excessive emotion, 'I love yous' , 'you're so brave' make me feel pitied and I'll retract. There is no perfect response, but I do have a preference. Distraction, understanding/ or appreciating you're unlikely to understand and sarcasm are my vices. I have three main friends that I'll always know I can talk to.

Tom: appreciates it's shit, won't try to make it seem relatable if it's not, will check in with me  but then swiftly move the conversation away from RA. 

Claudia : doesn't have RA, but has a chronic condition so a lot of it is relatable. You don't need a friend to have the same diagnosis, to have some understanding.

Ruby: has RA, similar age, diagnosed at similar time and just GETS it. We would end up being great friends without RA, so the fact she understands how shit Hydroxychloroquine is, is just an added benefit.

Everyone is different, figure out who YOUR people are to talk about this stuff. It's also okay to tell people if they're doing something that makes you feel worse. (Shout out to Alison who stopped replying to my stories with 'I love you' when she knows I'm flaring. I love you too. <3<3)

2) Don't let anyone tell you what's right for your body - Okay, maybe Consultants / Pharmacists / Physiotherapists, take this with a pinch of salt. But at the end of the day, you're the only person who knows how it feels in your body. Definitely don't let someone convince you that Yoga is going to cure your arthritis

3) Find YOUR Yoga - Not to play into the stereotype but I got into Yoga in the first lockdown, and I really love it. It's great for strengthening and keeping flexible whilst low impact but it's main benefit is for my head. Being upside down and in un-natural contortions is amazing for escaping your day. I'm naturally quite an over-thinker, which sometimes isn't constructive, Yoga is a great for putting a a pause on that. My version of mindfulness. Some people love journaling (could never be me), others reading or obsessive cycling (cough my dad cough) . Yoga or walks with headphones in are my escape.

4) Use it or lose it - Fun fact, one of my wrists no longer works properly, limited to a 35 degree bend. I'm right handed and my arthritis initially presented in my wrists. A couple years into my diagnosis, I was messing about and called out to my boyfriend of the time "I can't do a press-up". He looked at me confused, and then we realised, my left wrist wouldn't even bend. Basically the equivalent of a plank of wood. What happened is after a period of repeated flare-ups, my cartilage must have become eroded to a point where the bone has partially fused, causing permanent restriction. Three surgeons have looked at it, and there isn't anything they can do. It doesn't really affect me day-to-day, except making Yoga more interesting. At least, I can still do the 'queen wave', so not a total loss. BUT  I'm determined to not lose any more joints. I learnt the lesson the hard way, don't do the same. That's why it's important to keep your body moving, arthritis or not.

5) Honesty is power - disclaimer, this comes more easily for me as I'm quite an open person. But 99% of the time, I've always found it to have more benefits than drawbacks. Being honest allows people to re-assess and adjust their behaviours to improve the situation. I know it's easier said than done, but unless you try, it's unlikely things will change. The same way Mental Health has become more understood in recent years (still a LONGGG way to go), because people are being more open and realising it's more common than we think.

Over the past 6 months, I've really made a point of being REAL and to create an environment in my space where people feel comfortable opening up. I'm really lucky to have an environment amongst by friends, family and colleagues where I'm able to speak honestly about my experiences and I am supported and accommodated. I want to help to be a part of the necessary change in culture that allows others to also benefit from this.

RA can very much be an invisible disability. If you looked at me, unless you were paying very close attention, you'd probably have no idea which allows people to make a lot of assumptions. It's also true that people have the idea that Arthritis only affects the old, I probably did, before diagnosis. Versus Arthritis have recently launched a Campaign called "The Painful Truth" to encourage TV producers to include the experience of Chronic Pain in shows. I think this would really help in changing the narrative and getting more understanding. You can read about it here: https://www.versusarthritis.org/campaign-with-us/the-painful-truth-a-campaign-to-get-tv-and-films-to-show-the-reality-of-chronic-pain/.

6) House (the Hugh Laurie one) has a new dimension - One of those shows that I happily re-binge every couple years (think medical drama with a sarcastic edge) now has an added benefit. Nothing gives me a cheap thrill like hearing one of the drugs I've been, or Rheumatoid Arthritis as a possible diagnosis for the odd symptoms.